Update from Florida - What I’ve Learned So Far

Apr 17

Well that was WAY LONGER than expected! It's been a while since I've been on the podcast. The move from Canada to the USA was more challenging than I thought and if I’m honest took the wind out of my sails a bit and I needed some time to get back on track. Thankfully, things are a lot better now and so I thought I’d share a little about my move to Florida and what I’ve learned about myself since experiencing this journey. Today I’ll be sharing……

- How I found out the things I “truly” value

- The silver lining I found in something really hard for me

- Why I need to practice more patience

You can read the full transcript below OR listen to the podcast on Apple or Spotify.

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

PODCAST EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hey! Hey ! Hey! it's been a long time since I've been on here. Oh my gosh I know I said I was going to take a little bit of a break, but I really didn't anticipate taking this long of a break. The truth is the transition to moving from moving from Canada to the US was a lot harder than I anticipated. I like to kind of compare it to like, going from having no children to having children. You know, you get prepared, you anticipate, you get the room ready, you buy all the stuff you need. But then the kid arrives and even though you've done all this preparation, and you're mentally prepared, it's like, oh, shit, this is way harder than I thought it was gonna be. So that's kind of like what happened with our move from Canada to the US. And you would think, well, how could it be so hard? Because like, culturally, they're so similar. But I think it's like, for me anyways, I can't speak for everyone else and I'm sure if you talk to someone else, they might say, Oh well, it wasn't hard for us at all. But for me, it was really hard. I learned a few things and that's what I want to share with you today.

So you know, there's just the regular things that you have to do that are time consuming or end up being a little bit more frustrating than you anticipated. They would be like, for example, getting bank accounts and phones like that ended up for whatever reason being a nightmare. Getting credit settled, like your credit from Canada's does not transfer over. So you're starting at zero. Getting the kids into school, getting finding a doctor and a dentist, and an eye doctor and all those things, someone who does your taxes and accounting, like all these things take time, right and research and that part is time consuming and a little bit frustrating, but you can deal with it.

I think for me, the hardest part was just not having any of my friends or family around that you could lean on when things got tough, right? Like I mean, obviously, my kids and my husband, but they're going through it too, right? So we're even just having someone here who had done it before that you could be like, hey, like, what did you do with this? And what did you do with that? Like, we just we really kind of went into this blindly. And not blindly like we didn’t do research, but it was just, we didn't research enough. We didn't know you don't know what you don't know. Right? And even so for me, we lived in Wellesley, which is a really small, sort of like rural town. I think they actually call it a village just outside of Kitchener Waterloo. I mean, there's horse and buggies there, guys, for those of you who don't know. So and you know, there's basically like a little grocery store, a post office, a restaurant, a gift shop, like, that's pretty much it, and it's all sort of in this one little area. But what I loved about Wellesley is, it felt like you had like this giant extended family, I'm getting all emotional, this giant, extended family all around you all the time that could help you, you know. And then you move to this foreign place where you know, nobody. And you don't have anyone to ask or, or you know, you know, babysit, if you need to, like, do something that's gonna take a lot of hours that your kids are going to find, you know, really boring and whatever. That part was really hard for me.

Yeah, sure, all the bank school doctor stuff that takes time and it's annoying and frustrating, but it wasn't it was the lack of having like a support system around me or just even having familiar things like knowing where to go for this or knowing where to go for that. Like that part was way harder on me than I thought it would be. You know, as a mom, and I don't know how you feel I should maybe I shouldn't say as a mom, I'll say as myself as me. I actually didn't realize how much I valued community and my home life. That was one thing that became abundantly clear to me through this whole experience.

So, when we first got here, we had an Airbnb for a few weeks before we could get into our short term rental. And then we were in our short term rental for a couple of months before we decided to buy a house. And then we ended up trying to buy three homes and each situation was its own little disaster. And maybe I'll go into that another time, but the second one in particular, was a giant kerfuffle - like it was just a nightmare. And it happened at the same time as a hurricane hitting, as our landlord/real estate agent going to vacation in Italy, us finding out that one family member was dying, and another family member was going to have to have surgery to have cancer removed, or else they could potentially die as well. And so that was a lot, a lot. I mean, that would have been a lot, even if we weren't in a new country, but we were in a new country. So it was just very stressful. And the second home situation in particular had us looking at, I mean, I don't even know how many homes we looked at here. But I want to say, Geez, I want to say close to 50. So we're just going from home to home to look to buy and from home to home to look to rent, we were just trying to find somewhere that was close to the school, close to the beach, because that was a whole reason we moved here was for weather and lifestyle. And I really wanted the kids in a school where they could go to school together, because there's middle school here, so it's you K to five, and then six to eight, and then nine to 12, Right? And I wanted my kids in the same school because they were experiencing so much change to begin with, I least wanted them to have the familiarity of going to the same school. And so there's really only one school in this area that has a K to eight. And so we really wanted to be near that school. So anyway, I'm just between, you know, looking at houses, I'm looking at rentals and trying to get all this stuff set up. And then you know, figuring out, like, how can we get home to visit our sick family members. All of that stuff was very, very stressful, and not having someone here to like, talk with or hug or be in their presence and have their comfort, that was really hard. It was hard on me. Like I said, I don't I can't speak for other people. I don't know how other people handle things. But for me, it was very, very hard. And I started to like, hate it here because I was just like, oh my gosh, like we don't have any friends here. The housing market is ridiculous. Like, it just, you know, we've, we've got sick people back home that we care about that we want to be there for and we want to support our other family members who are also going through it. It was just a lot, you know, and then my daughter was having a hard time making friends. And there was, I don't want to say bullying seems a bit harsh, but she was sort of being not treated kindly by a group of girls. And then also some students in one of her classes who repeatedly called her the dumb Canadian, which, I mean, that's really hard. So then the emotional impact of that to like, you know, you just you feel so deeply for your children, you know, and I told Megan to remove herself from the situation and she was very mature about it. But that means she sits at the lunch table by herself every day and that hurts my heart as a mama, like it really hurts me. But anyways, so just all of that there was a lot, a lot a lot. So what I realized through this whole experience is how important like I kind of knew before, but I didn't realize the depth of the importance. But I really realized how important community is to me. I always knew my friends were and my family were important to me, I always knew that. But the community aspect of like having people near you that you know that expression, it takes a village to raise a child, like, it's not even just the children, and so I really realized how deeply important that was, for me. I'm getting emotional again. So I'm actually super grateful for this experience, because I don't know, if I would have had the depth of gratitude that I have now if I didn't go through all of that.

I'm also super grateful for how easily we can stay connected phones, texting, WhatsApp, Google meet, zoom, all the things. I'm super grateful for that too, because it helps you feel connected. I mean, not in the same way as being in person, but it sure does help. So super grateful for that. And it also made me see how important having a flexible schedule and freedom is in my life, because I realized, okay, obviously, I think the number one thing that's important to me in my life is my friends and my family. So community. And then two is freedom, I think I really value freedom. And then three, fun. And so and also learning, I love to learn. So anyways, it also made me more grateful for my business too. Like, I sort of was going through a period after the pandemic, where I was feeling really low. And I think, you know, the pandemic affected us all differently for me. Like, during the first year, it was okay, because I was really busy I had lots of clients, it was actually my best year for business, in terms of revenue. But then after that, just the isolation and not being around people that really got to me. And I got, I got depressed. And I know I've shared that before. It's actually part of the reason I started this podcast, because after I was depressed, I found my way out. And so I wanted to show people how I found my way out. So anyway, when I was here, I was starting to feel depressed again, because things were just hard and not working out. And there was just seemed to be obstacle after obstacle. And I was like, What the heck, like, are we not supposed to be here? Like, I just didn't know. And so then I was like, and then, you know, with my business, like, I wasn't getting any new clients. And I was like, like, what's going on? Am I not supposed to be doing this? And then I was like, Okay, well, maybe I should get a job. Maybe I'll meet people that way. And I actually I did a few things to try and meet people like I joined Toastmasters. And I started volunteering at the school. And I just started to try to put myself into situations where I would meet people, you know, and I would, you know, the kids, sports, I was trying to reach out to the parents there and stuff. So anyway, part of that was, Oh, should I get a job? But then through looking for jobs, I realized, oh my gosh, how much do I love my business? Because I was looking and I'm like, I'd get excited about a position. But then I read through the description and go, I don't really like that or that and I really wouldn't want to do that part. And that sort of kept happening with every position, I would find parts of it that I would really, really like, and then other parts of it where I'd be like, Oh, I don't really love that. And then so when I was having this uncertainty about like, Well, why am I not getting clients? And is that the universe trying to tell me something? It made me kind of like sit down with paper and pen and write down like all the things I love about my business and compare it with getting a job. And then I realized, oh my gosh, I love everything about my business, except for the accounting and taxes part. Everything who gets to say that? I do it. So um, I was like, Okay, this is fantastic. Great, great news, because now at least I know not to be bothering looking for our job. because my business is friggin perfect. So now we just need to deal with the fact that I wasn't getting many clients. And so I was kind of feeling a little bit down on that about that. But then I was like, Val! you haven't been doing as much you like you haven't been promoting yourself as much you haven't been blogging as much you haven't been doing our podcast, because you were dealing with transitioning to a new country getting your live set up trying to feel settled, we had all kinds of visitors to which I'm super grateful for, because I don't know how I would have made it without them. Getting emotional again. So, so grateful. Um, but there was just all this, like, I'll say, what's the word? I'll say disruption, but I don't mean it in a negative way. I just mean, just a lot going on. Right. And so I wasn't, you know, I was working with the clients that I had, but I wasn't actively seeking new clients, and I wasn't actively creating new content. And so that was negatively affecting my business. Of course, it would like that makes sense. But I wasn't, I don't think I was like, in the mindset to, like, put the two together, you know. So anyway, I was actually sort of beating myself up about it. But anyways, now I am feeling more settled. And we're in a great neighborhood full of kids. And it actually sort of, I mean, aside from the fact that I don't really know anyone very well, it does sort of feel like Wellesley, because it's all young families, and it's a smaller, like, it's a little kind of tiny, like a small community within a city. So I'm feeling much calmer. And, um, I feel like I'm getting ideas again, like, I'm like, oh, I should do this, I should do that. So I'm excited to kind of get back at it, you know, and reconnect with my audience, and with clients and provide more content.

And as part of that, I just wanted to share that, you know, okay, so I alluded a little bit to what I figured out my my core values were community, freedom. And when I say freedom, I mean, I mean, freedom, obviously. But I mean, also freedom of schedule, freedom to do what I want, when I want. And I'm so grateful that I set up, set up my business as a virtual business so that I can, you know, travel whenever I want to, or I can work from anywhere around the world. And my schedule is quite flexible. You know, as long as I keep my clients informed, I can work around a time that works well for my family. So. But yeah, so community freedom. I mentioned, my family and friends are like the most important things in my life, I'm sure many people out there, listening are gonna say the exact same thing. But for me, like this business, why I'm even more grateful for it is it allows me to go and visit them whenever I want. Because I can take my business with me. And not many people can say that. So I just have a newfound gratitude for Orangetree Interiors, and for all of my clients that have helped me remain in business during all this time. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I am so grateful that you have helped me live this amazing life.

And also, through this transition, I've learned that I really, it's not that I've learned, like I already kind of knew this, but I just I saw the things that I was gravitating toward, for comfort, in the absence of having my friends and family physically close to me. And that was personal development, like reading, listening to podcasts, watching videos, like anyone who had anything to help me with mindset. I just was really sort of soaking up whatever they would say, to help me through these hard times. And so I think I'm going to share a little bit more about that stuff moving forward. And I mean, I'm also going to share interior decorating related things because it's my passion and I'll probably do that more over at in Orangetree Interiors and keep it to the blog, but you know, from time to time, I might mention something here on the podcast, and then also my physical health, like I just realized, you know, I'm forgetting things a lot and it could be information overload as well, but I just was like, I'm not sleeping great and I'm forgetful, and you know my skin, my I have eczema. And it flares up when I'm stressed. And it's been terrible lately. And I know that there's things that I can do through my diet to help control that. And so I'm probably going to share a little bit about that too. And then just in working with a wonderful naturopath, her name is Juliana Leaman, I highly encourage you to check her out. She deals mainly with peri-menopausal and menopausal women. But if you have other issues that you need help with definitely reach out to her. I don't know what capacity that she has available. But she's amazing. And she's taught me a lot about, you know, what I'm putting into my body and what I'm surrounding my body with as well. Like, we don't think about necessarily, well, some maybe, maybe a lot of you do. But I kind of took for granted about all the things that I was putting on my body, what hair products I was using, you know what I was putting on my skin, all that kind of stuff. So I'm going to be more mindful about those things too. So you can expect to hear a little bit broader information from me going forward. Definitely going to still stick to sharing the lessons I've learned along the way. But like I said, just maybe branching out a little bit more to share a more holistic view of what's gone on with me, in hopes that it will help you.

So yeah, so that was really long winded, but basically, coming here, the weather. It's beautiful. I mean, it's very hot in the summer. But right now, it's absolutely glorious. The sun shines almost every single day. And Matthew is very settled, Megan is getting settled, Tom loves it here. And I'm starting to feel a lot more relaxed. So I'm super grateful for this entire experience, because it has just although it was you know, sort of a roller coaster ride for a while there, it has just really made me see what's important to me, and be really grateful for all the good things I already have in my life. And grateful also, for the exercise and patience. You know, like it's almost like so now it's like every time something is not going the way I want it to go. I can go. Alright, I just went through this. And the turnaround time was pretty fast if you like we'll be here a year almost in May. And I'd say I started feeling better about two months ago. So the turnaround time from going from oh my gosh, I hate this, too. Yeah, you know what, this is actually not so bad. It was pretty quick in hindsight. So just a lesson in patience to be like, Okay, this is actually, and we've heard it before, but I'll say it again. This is actually happening for you, not to you. And for me, it was happening for me to remind me to be grateful for all the good and look for the lessons. So that's all I have for today. I will be back in your inbox or on your podcast listening platform again soon. Hoping you all have a beautiful, beautiful day. Thanks for listening. Ciao for now.

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