5 Essential Practices for Becoming & Staying Happy

Oct 12

Are you truly happy? I hope you answered yes, but if you didn’t and you want to become a happier person……. and stay that way…..stay tuned in today because I’m sharing the 5 most important things you can implement into your life to help you become a much happier person.

So many times over my lifetime (and sometimes for years at a time) I found myself in a rut, depressed or just not happy. At 46 years old, I feel like I’ve finally cracked the happiness code and I’m sharing what I feel are the 5 most important practices I’ve incorporated into my life to feel happy every day……well almost every day.

You can listen here or read the transcript below. Resources for this episode are listed below the transcript.

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PODCAST EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Are you truly happy? I hope you answered yes. But if you didn't and you want to become a happier person and stay that way, stay tuned in today because I'm sharing the five most important things you can implement into your life to help you become a much happier person.

Hi. Welcome to Lessons on happiness. I'm your host Val Malnar, and I'm here to talk to you about finding happiness through healing, personal growth, and mindset practice. My hope is that by sharing my story and the methods I've used to become a happier person, I can help you on your journey to do the same. Thanks so much for tuning in and I hope you enjoy the show.

Hey there, beautiful people! I'm so excited to talk to you about today's topic. So many times over my lifetime (and sometimes for years at a time) I have found myself in a rut, depressed, or just not happy. And at 46 years old, I finally feel like I've cracked the happiness code and I'm sharing what I feel are the five most important practices I've incorporated into my life to feel happy every day……well, almost every day.

Okay, let's get right to it.

Okay, tip number one is okay, wait. I should say tips are actually not necessarily in order of my preferences, except for the last tip. I'll say the last tip is probably the number one tip, so let's go in backwards order.

So, tip number five is to adopt an attitude of gratitude. So I'm sure you've heard that before, and the reason you've heard it before is because it is super-duper important. So gratitude is actually scientifically proven to help improve mental and physical health, as well as help increase your self-esteem. So, absolutely essential that you practice gratitude on a daily basis whenever possible. I'd like to suggest that you try to find the good in every situation.

So sometimes you're going to be in a lesson ideal situation, and sometimes you're going to have people in your life that are being negative and getting on your nerves, and sometimes you're even going to be negative with yourself. And the key is to notice it and then find the good. So. for an example. If you find yourself in debt, then instead of focusing on how much money you don't have, worrying about where the money is going to come from to pay your next bill, stressing over the money you wish you were making rather than the money you are making. Acknowledge it and then start to think about the money that you actually do have and why you're grateful for it. So be grateful that you have enough money to pay your phone bill. Be grateful that you have a roof over your head and food on your table. I actually did this exercise with one of my coaches a week or two ago. At that time, I was actually feeling stressed about money and during the session I actually became overcome with gratitude. I actually got emotional because I started thinking about, oh my gosh, okay, so in this moment, my finances aren't where I want them to be, but in my whole life, like, I have attracted lots of abundance into my life via birthday presents, Christmas presents, wedding gifts, tips I earned while working part time as a waitress, the little bit of OSAP money that I got while I was going to college, just all kinds of abundance. Even like, money that wasn't directly for me, but I got to reap the benefit of, like, for example, my husband, if he got a promotion and a bonus, well, so that money didn't come to me, but it came to him. And since we live together, I got to benefit from that money. So just thinking about all the ways in which you can find gratitude for the circumstances in your life that, like I said, are maybe less than ideal.

Let me give you another example. So years ago, gosh, it feels like eons ago now, but years ago, I worked in a very busy restaurant and my boss was really abrasive and obnoxious, and some people hated him. And sometimes I hated him, if I'm being honest. But I could always tolerate him. Well, I'd say there were a few times that he really pissed me off, but overall, I could tolerate him almost all of the time because I knew he had a big heart. I knew that if I needed him for anything, if I needed help, that he would help me because I saw him do that for other people. So even though he was obnoxious and chauvinistic and rude, a lot of the time, I chose to focus on the fact that I knew that deep down inside he was a good person, so that it was tolerable for me to work there. So those are just a couple of examples to help you hopefully identify gratitude in your particular circumstances.

OK. So tip number four would be to practice forgiveness always. So I know that can be hard. I mean, I've experienced some pretty hard things in my life that maybe I'll share later, but for now, I'll just say that staying angry, resentful, bitter, or sad about how someone has treated you only hurts you. Okay, well, it hurts them too, but it hurts you more. Staying stuck in these feelings, it just….all it does is it lowers your vibration so that not only do you feel like crap, but you attract more crap into your life.

So I would say, well, not always, but in recent years, that forgiveness is for you. When you forgive someone for what they did to you or how they treated you, you take your power back because you're no longer letting someone else have control over your heart or mind. And if you're able to forgive someone else, then you should be able to forgive yourself as well. I know we're not perfect. We're all human and we all make mistakes. But living with guilt, shame, worry, humiliation, et cetera, et cetera, it only lowers your vibration and doesn't help the situation at all. Do not punish yourself.

I can remember, and this actually wasn't even that long ago. I'd say it was maybe, I don't know, about eight months ago, I'm guessing. I went to a party. I hadn't eaten since early that day, like around 11:00 a.m. and it was now like 7:00 or 8:00 at night and I hadn't eaten and I knew there was going to be snacks there, so I didn't have supper, but I had some wine and it really hit me and at first I was just charming and hilarious and telling jokes and people were like, you know, paying attention, but then I got really sloppy and I started over sharing and being really emotional. And then I actually ended up hurting the feelings of the person who was hosting our girls’ night and not intentionally, but I did hurt her feelings. And so anyways, the next day I woke up and I felt horrible shame. I felt so badly that I had hurt my friend. I was embarrassed for my behavior in front of everyone. Some of the girls that were there, I didn't know very well, so I was worried about what they were going to think of me, what they were going to say about me. I live in a small town, so I was really, like, concerned about this getting out into the community and people saying bad things and how it was going to reflect on me as a person. And I had nausea for like, four days, just not from being hungover, but from just feeling sick about all these stories that I was telling myself in my head, I'm a terrible person. How could I behave this way? I'm old enough, I should know better. All the things. And then I remember thinking to myself, there's people out there in the world that would just, like, not even bat an eyelash at this. They'd be like, oh, man, I got drunk, I made an ass of myself, and I'm embarrassed, but whatever. I'm only human. It happens to everyone and they’d move on. But I was, like, letting this take over my life and so I ended up doing some meditating. And I remember thinking, maybe I'll contact my dad because my dad doesn't give a shit what anybody thinks of him. And so I thought I'll contact my dad and ask him, how do you go about not caring about what people think about you? And I was going to ask him for strategies, but then it dawned on me after some self-reflection, I was like this judgment that I'm having, like, I'm worried that other people are judging me, but I was judging myself. It was me that was doing the judgment I was feeling, the shame I was being embarrassed. So basically I was the one saying, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should be embarrassed of your behavior. I was the one giving the dialogue. And so I thought, if this happened to my best friend, what would I tell her? I'd say, oh, man, that sucks. You should call your friend and apologize. And I'd say, don't worry about it. Like, you're only human. Like everybody makes an ass of themselves at least once in their life. Like, jeez, I understand it's embarrassing, but you're a good person. You don't normally behave this way. This was a one off situation. Don't judge yourself for this one moment when most of the time you're great. And so I thought, well, if I would say that to my friend, why don't I say that to myself? And I know this is super obvious. It may seem super obvious to some people, but for other people like me, no, it's not obvious. You just criticize yourself and get down on yourself. And so it's really important, I think, to just practice forgiveness whenever you can. You have to forgive. If you want to move forward and live a happier life, you just do. So that brings me to tip number three.

So tip number three is to exercise. And again, this is one you've heard time and time again, but it really is a game changer. I'll be honest. I'm not big on exercise. There have been times in my life where I really did focus on exercise, and I got really fit and I took really great care of myself from a physical standpoint, I'm talking. And most of those times, sadly, were motivated by trying to get a man's attention. And that's embarrassing to admit, but it is what it is, and I'm just being honest. Now, I'll say that even though I'm not big on exercise, I do truly enjoy walking, especially in nature. And I will say that every time that I pulled myself out of sadness or depression, exercise was involved. So most of us know that exercise improves our well-being through the release of hormones called endorphins that help us relieve pain and reduce stress and anxiety and help us to improve our mood. So it's super important to incorporate daily exercise into your day. So now I walk 30 to 60 minutes every day, whenever I can, and occasionally I'll miss a day here and there. And when I do, I don't shame myself anymore. I just get back to it the next day. So I would encourage you to find an exercise that you'd like to do and try your best to do a minimum of 15 minutes a day, if possible. If you can't do 15 minutes a day, just do ten minutes a day or five minutes a day and work your way up. It really does help. I remember actually going to a Rachel Hollis event, and what did she say? Move your body, change your mind. And I really think that's true. It's worked for me every time. I mean, every single time. Not necessarily right away, but when I kept at it, it did help me. So that is tip number three.

Okay, so tip number two is to create a morning ritual that honors you. So a morning ritual differs from a morning routine in that it has a real sense of purpose, such as setting your day up for happiness and success. So it should feel good to you rather than feeling like something that you have to do, like brushing your teeth, showering, making your bed. I mean, those are things we should do. But the ritual the morning ritual is something for you. So some examples of morning rituals could be like a morning meditation, a morning walk, having a favorite tea or coffee while writing some affirmations, or a gratitude list, journaling, yoga there are all sorts of wonderful ideas for your morning rituals that will help you start each day off right. If you'd like some more ideas and examples, then you can download the Start Happy, Stay Happy Journal that I created for exactly this purpose. It will be linked in the show notes, and it's totally free, so it's there for you to use. So enjoy. One of my coaches always says, own your morning, own your day, own your day, own your life. And I couldn't agree more. Since incorporating a morning ritual into my life, I have been so much happier, and I will keep a morning ritual until the day I die.

Okay, so now we're at my number one tip. My number one tip is to become your own biggest cheerleader or to hire a coach to be one for you. So most of my life, I've been my biggest critic, not my biggest cheerleader. I'm working on it now, though. But when I wasn't, hiring a coach was hands down the best investment I've ever made in my life. Forget about houses and cars. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love houses and cars, and I will have a Jeep one day, but investing in myself has given me the biggest reward. Happiness. Happiness and peace of mind. I've had two coaches in the last year and a half that have completely changed my life by helping me see the good in me and creating a daily schedule that honors me and my family lifestyle so that I can stay as high vibe as possible, they've taught me how to manage big emotions, work through them, and keep moving toward my goals.

I'm eternally grateful to both of them. I would highly recommend investing in a coach if you have a hard time being your own best cheerleader. My coaches have changed my life in the very best way. If you want to know more about the coaches that I've worked with, you can check out the show notes. Marley Harris is a 7-figure coach that focuses on helping people prioritize their desired lifestyle and then helps them build a life of time and location freedom via an online business. And she is just a sweet, sweet soul who genuinely cares and wants you to be successful. So, like I said, I'll put her information in the show notes, the information about her program in the show notes, and then my second coach is Kathleen Cameron. Kathleen Cameron is an 8-figure Life and Manifestation coach and best-selling author that has helped over 100,000 people attract more love, money and success into their lives in less than three years. She's actually hosting a free event this Thursday, October 13 through to Saturday, October 15 called Manifest. It's actually why I'm dropping this episode a day early. I think so highly of her and I really want as many people as possible to be able to attend the event so that they can get the help that I got.

Like I said, this is a free event, so this would be a way for you to kind of check out her teachings without having to spend any money. So for information that event, you can check out the show notes. Like I said, I highly recommend that you check it out. Kathleen is a wealth of knowledge and truly amazing. You will definitely learn something. And even if you can't attend the event times, if you register, you'll get the replays and you'll be able to watch them at your convenience. Thereis always so many golden nuggets. Definitely check it out if you can.

All right, so that about wraps up this episode. While I do have other tips and strategies I can share to help you become a happier person, these are definitely my top five. The bottom line is that you should treat yourself like you are the most important person in your life because you are. You will be your best for your loved ones when you take intentional care of yourself in every way. That's all I've got for now. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, I wish you all the best in living a happier life. Sending you so much love.

Thanks so much for listening to the Lessons on Happiness podcast. If you'd like to know more about the information I'm sharing or how I become a happier person, check out the show notes, reach out to me on social or email me at val@valmalnar.com. My goal is to help as many people as possible live happier lives, so if you've enjoyed this episode, please take a screenshot and share it on Social and tag @valmalnar that we can reach far and wide. I'd also love your feedback, so please leave a review so that I can be sure to create more content that is helpful and resonate with you. Thanks again for tuning in and until next time, wishing you happy vibes and big strides.

I hope these tips help you. Finding happiness within myself has been such a gift. And, while I do have downs from time to time, I now have the tools to find my way back up. I hope that sharing these tools will help you in some way. If you have any questions about any of the information I’ve shared, my coaches or the programs I’ve taken, send me a message. I would absolutely LOVE to connect with you.

RESOURCES FROM TODAY’S PODCAST & BLOG:

FREE Event: Manifest with Kathleen Cameron

7-Figure Coach for building a business of time & location freedom: Marley Harris

8-Figure Life & Manifestation Coach & Bestselling Author: Kathleen Cameron

And, if you’d like to be notified each time an article or podcast comes out, please join my community. I’m dropping mini happiness lessons bi-weekly. I’d love for you to join the community.

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I also want to invite you to download the free, and recently updated (September 13, 2022), Start Happy Stay Happy Journal that I created to help you start each day off right and help to increase the likelihood of happiness and success in your life daily.

DOWNLOAD

I hope we can connect in a deeper way. If you have any questions about any of the information I'm sharing please send me a message and I'll be happy to help.

Sending love and hugs,